Ummm…. You Lost Me At Nubian

After three years of being single, I decided that it was time to meet some one new. I thought I would go modern and create an online dating profile. Big mistake.

I forgot that this city is filled with crazy ass dudes who don’t understand boundaries.  I am amazed at the amount of white men who combine their need to be dominated and their black girl fetish and channel them into creepy emails that make me want to file a restraining order.
Because I love my fans, I thought that I would share the best of these emails with you. Every time I get a creepy email, I will post it on my blog because the comedy gods command it.
Here is the first in a series of inappropriate emails I have received through this dating site. I call this one, pink panties:
Good morning! If you would come and be my Nubian Goddess I will wear your panties, a pretty collar, and a pink apron and cook you dinner, wash the dishes, bring you drinks and desserts, shave your legs, massage and kiss your feet, paint your nails, wash, condition, and brush your hair, do your makeup, trim and orally worship your kitty, and bottom until you’re satisfied, hand wash all your dirty lingerie, take you shopping for pretty things, carry all your bags, and drive you anywhere you want to go.

Why you need to pay attention to your local elections too!!

I have no political ambition. I am a stand up comedienne who really likes yoga. I also really love this city. I was born and raised here. I have seen special interest and self involved politicians, more concerned with their ego, slowly kill the soul of San Francisco. 

I was lucky enough to work on a campaign for a local politician. Although she lost, I feel like I won because it woke up something in me. I feel that more than ever this city needs its residents to be involved and engaged with their elected officials. People’s apathy just allowed a candidate who is the puppet of right wing billionaires get elected into office. It isn’t just about the who is President.

 Legislators on a local level create policy that effects our every day lives. When you don’t pay attention, it is easier for people who don’t care about affordable housing, or jobs, or quality of life for the mentally ill, or public safety, or repairing a crumbling infrastructure get into office. 

That is what happened in the San Francisco Supervisor’s race for District Five. It matters because for the next four years, two right wing billionaires who want to make this city a play ground for the rich now have a puppet in City Hall. Conway and Coates dumped almost a million dollars into super pacs designed to unseat progressives in D1 & D5. They want to eliminate rent control, they were behind 2010 measure B. They are the Koch brothers of San Francisco. 

If you all keep looking the other way, then one day you are going to wake up and you wont be able to afford SF or raise a family in SF. So the next time there is an election take the time to learn about the candidates, make an informed decision and vote on everything!!! Take a stand!! Once they are in office, hold them accountable. Pay attention to what they are doing as your delegate. Make sure they answer to the voters and not special interests and big money

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